Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops