What's the difference between a duck?

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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The Oakland Raiders

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69.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops