whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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