what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Womens rights

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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