How old is victor? Half past dead

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Cripples are lame.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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