Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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