You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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