Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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I am quite mature.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops