Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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