What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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Man U

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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