An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops