A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jordan is pregant

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man say ti the other man? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -3

. . I am a whale

thumb_up thumb_down -3

- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops