A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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