What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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