One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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