What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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i love....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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