Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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