I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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