Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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HELLO EVERYONE

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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