A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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