If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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