Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops