What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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13 =B you just learned something

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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