Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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I named my son ps2 controller

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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