Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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jews

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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