a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops