What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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