What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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