A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops