Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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Yes

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Everybody will die

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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Dwarf Shortage

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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