Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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