What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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