What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Lololol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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