What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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