What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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