How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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every cloud has a silver lining

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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