How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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