Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops