Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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The New York Giants

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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