So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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