A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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