bangers and mash?

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

24

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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