whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down +6

the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +6

gingers

thumb_up thumb_down +6

you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops