Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops