A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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