Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Happy Monday!

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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