What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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I dont have a girlfriend

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops