A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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