I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Your adopted

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops