Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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