Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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