A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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