why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

What's funny about black people? The fact that they are all in prison for not being visible at night time.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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