Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

it

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

What is your name? My name is Jeff

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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