What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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