I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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