Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...