A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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