Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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