FOX News: Fair and balanced

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

Where can I apply for janitor school?

Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...